Trust vs. Control
This is one of my greatest struggles in life. If I really trusted God I would let Him be in control, right? Why is it then I spend so much time focused on my circumstances, my future, my path? Do I not trust Him that He has a plan for my present and my future? Do I not trust that He can carry me through every circumstance and give me every tool and everything I need to persevere through this trial and all the ones to come?
I have done many things to bring my heart back to trusting but somehow it keeps having these moments when it wanders back to my circumstances, and stops focusing on God. It stops trusting and goes its own way. When I realize it has wandered I once again remind myself of the times God has come through for me; the times my plans have failed, but God's have flourished; the times when I was battered and broken and God restored my heart and soul. God is so good!
This yo-yo action is not a new thing. The Israelites went through it too! They would go through seasons when they trusted God and the blessings of God's peace, provision and protection filled their lives and then when they began to take back control God would warn them through prophets and then they would wander away from God's plans, which brought loss, pain and anguish. This cycle continues over and over. It is part of our humanity.
I have to keep reminding myself that God is worthy of my trust, He has never let me down and He has my best interests at heart. I would love to come to the place where my heart never wanders and never vies for control. In the meantime, my hope is I will see the warning signs and immediately turn back.
I took this weekend off, just to enjoy the news (see my last blog entry) and relax. It was a great weekend! I worked on Saturday but after that it was time to relax and just enjoy life. We went to an arts event, which was awesome. Walter even got to exercise some of his acting ability and had the whole place in stitches. I honestly laughed so hard at one point I almost fell off my chair. I wish I had gotten it on video, I would have totally posted it on YouTube.
Join me on my journey through life's joys and difficulties.