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Computer Issues

10/13/2012

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   I know I was going to try to write every day, however due to some computer issues, I have had to make some changes. Until we have a second computer up and running my only day to write for the website is Saturdays. Hopefully this will be cleared up soon and I will be able to go back to my daily blogging.
   This week has been great! Wednesday morning I was not feeling very well but as a result of all the prayer on my behalf I recovered by Wednesday evening. God has been showing me a lot about forgiving myself. When it comes to forgiveness I find it pretty easy to forgive people, however find it really hard to forgive myself. Throughout this last week God has been teaching me about how I create these prisons around myself, prisons of guilt and shame. I have confessed these things to God, he has forgiven me, but I stay in the prison cell with the door unlocked because somehow I think if I stay in there long enough I will finally be good enough to be free. However God has been showing me I do not have to be good enough because He already is and He took my punishment on the cross so all I am doing is hurting myself. I am learning how to step out of the prison cell and into the freedom God has for me. It is interesting as I look back over the last year. It is like I take a step out and then find myself right back in the cell. I need to learn how to start living outside the walls of this prison I built for myself so I do not keep returning. One day I might even bring myself to a place where I can not only live outside the prison permanently, but am also ready to destroy the prison all together. Thinking about that moment actually brings a smile to my face.
   My verse for today is Romans 8:38-39 "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." What an amazing reminder of God's incredible love for us! He loves me so much that He wants me to live in freedom not bondage. Nothing can separate you from God's love either!

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    Connie Blackwood

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