Thorn In My Flesh
I had an interesting experience happen to me not too long ago and I wanted to share it with you, both because it is kind of funny and also because it shows how God can work in amazing ways.
The Sunday before last I was in church and the pastor was speaking about receiving the love of God. He was saying that there are some people who do not really understand how much God loves them and he challenged us to really press in and allow God just to reveal His love to us. I believe God's love for me runs deep, my issue is that I have a hard time receiving that love, because many days I feel unworthy. I took the challenge and decided that in order to really focus on God I was going to lie down on my stomach and just close my eyes and focus. On my way down I felt a pain in my knee and I prayed that God would take the distraction of the pain away, after a few minutes it did go away.
As I was laying on that floor I had a real breakthrough with God in that for the first time in a while, I realized that I am worthy not because of anything I have done, but because God calls me worthy. He created me and I am cherished by Him. He delights in me. He adores me and it is not based on how well I am doing at being a Christian, it is based on the fact that I am His daughter and He lavishes His love on His children. It was quite a huge thing for me. I knew all of this in my head but while I was on that floor it took root deep in my heart. It became more than just knowledge, it became truth. It set me free from the constant striving to be perfect and the constant needing to do everything to be worthy and allowed me just to be loved as His precious daughter.
As I got up from the floor that morning, I checked my knee and saw that there was blood on my pants and then I saw the nail I had knelt on. I made a little joke that Paul had a thorn in his flesh and I ended up with a nail in my knee. This did cause me pain for a few days and it looks like I will have a small scar where the nail went into my knee. That scar will always be a reminder of what I learned that day and the breakthrough that occurred as a result. I will never forget what happened that morning and if that was the only reason for a nail to have found its way to the front row of my church then I am very thankful for the nail in my knee.
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