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Insight: I am sorry that he picked Valentine's Day to break it off with you. I believe that you deserve better than this. I know that may be hard to believe right now, but it is true. He should not have allowed you to believe he really liked you when he had no idea what he really felt. I know this may seem like an old fashioned thing to say, however if you were friends with someone before you went out with them, both of you would know how you really felt before you started going out. I'm not talking about being friends for a week, I am talking about a substantial amount of time.
Another thing I would recommend is to make a list of characteristics (I'm not referring to looks but inner qualities), that describe the type of person you want to be with and do not settle for anything less. Lastly, I would recommend being upfront about your expectations from the relationship right off the bat. For instance, if you did not want to have sex until you were married, you should tell them right away.
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Insight: I know it is difficult when you lose something that means that much to you. It is alright to be sad over your loss. If you have done everything you can to get your toy back, and your parents have also tried but have not succeeded then it may be time to replace it with a new one. I know the new one cannot take the place of the old one, however it could help you get through until you find the stuffed toy or it could become just as important to you one day. In life we face times when we lose someone or something that is important to us. Remember, to mourn the loss and try to find something or someone who can help fill the void that the loss has created in our life.
Insight: We all have people in our lives that we love. Why not focus on these people on Valentine's Day. Take a sibling or parent out to dinner. Go out to a movie with a friend. I look at Valentine's Day as a day to show how much you love the people in your life. It doesn't even have to be a material gift, just give someone a call, or a note of encouragement. Little things mean a lot more than you may realize. Another thing you could do is spend that time focused on God's love for you and how much He loves you. Once you take the focus off of your relationship status and focus on those you love, I am sure you will find Valentine's Day more enjoyable. If you start to enjoy Valentine's Day, then next year February may be a month to look forward to instead of the month to dread.
Insight: My question to you is have you told your friend how you feel since this happened? Your best friend may think you stopped liking that person, or your friend might have thought it was alright if that person liked your friend but didn't like you in that way. You need to find out why your friend did it before you can decide if your friend has broken your trust or not. If your friend has betrayed you then you need to decide if you want to continue the friendship or not. If you do, then you should probably forgive your friend and move on; however you may want to be cautious of what you share with your friend until the trust is rebuilt. If you decide not to continue the friendship, then I would suggest you still forgive your friend. Forgiveness is not letting your friend off the hook, it is setting you free from the pain your friend caused you.
If you have already expressed how you feel and your friend doesn't care that you were hurt by it, you may want to evaluate the friendship. Once again, you would need to decide if you want to continue this friendship or not. If you decide to keep the friend, you might want to distance yourself from them and find a 'best' friend you can trust. If you decide it is time to move on, you might want to let them know why you have decided not to be friends anymore. Either way, you should still forgive the person, which will enable you to move on from this situation in a healthy way. Always remember, there are consequences for our actions at any stage in our lives. |
Connie BlackwoodI strive to help others by being a safe place for others to ask questions and pose issues they face. Archives
January 2021
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