Issue: I have been divorced and I am in a new relationship. Christians are telling me that I am committing adultery and so is he, so does God expect me to be alone for the rest of my life because I made a mistake?
Insight: I believe that God hates divorce because it tears apart the very fabric of the family entity that God created. Divorce hurts not only both people in the marriage but also any children that were conceived. God hates to see His children in pain and this is why he hates divorce.
This is only half of the picture though. The other half of the picture is God is loving, forgiving and merciful. When we make mistakes He is faithful to forgive us. If you have asked God to forgive you, I believe it is forgiven and you have a new slate, however keep in mind the consequences of these issues still exist.
In your new relationship if your children do not like the person you have chosen it could cause strife between you and your children; or if their children do not like you it may cause problems there as well. The same goes for friends and families of either person. These are the consequences of the choices we make.
God provides forgiveness and freedom from sin but the consequences remain. I would advise that when Scripture gives several warnings considering a particular topic, weigh the consequences carefully.
Insight: This is quite a question. The answer you would find our culture is promoting is that sex is a normal facet of any romantic relationship, I disagree. Our culture also promotes the belief that marriage is just a piece of paper and doesn't really mean anything, once again I disagree. Our culture promotes the belief that love is a fleeting emotion and people fall in and out of love all the time, again I disagree.
The Bible is quite clear that sex outside of the covenant of marriage is a sin. The covenant of marriage more than a commitment. A covenant is a sacred agreement between God and man. A marriage covenant is the agreement to be united as one flesh with one another until death, this is an agreement between a woman, a man, and God. Therefore, sex outside of this covenant is sin. It is that simple. The Bible is also clear that love is a choice, not just an emotion. When two people get married they are making the decision to love one another and only one another for the rest of their lives. Jesus commands us to love one another multiple times in his teachings, if love was only an emotion could it be commanded? No.
Now you asked me what my thoughts are, and this paragraph is my answer to that question. From my observations and my own experiences, I can tell you that sex creates a bond between two people and this bond is not easily broken. Sex is meant to join two souls together and when people have sex outside of marriage, this bond tears at the heart and leaves parts of your heart behind and takes parts of the other person's. It is messy and painful. I do not believe that sex can ever be considered casual, I believe that at some point some people's hearts are so tattered, they think to themselves 'What is one more rip?' This is how it gets devalued. In my observations I have seen wonderful people feel like they were worth nothing because they had sex with someone and then that someone walked away. Wonder why depression is rampant in our world, look at what we value. We put more stock in relationships with each other than our relationship with God. Try the reverse and see what happens, you might just be pleasantly surprised.
Issue: My boyfriend broke it off with me on Valentine's Day. His reason was that he thought he liked me, but realized that he really didn't. This is the worst Valentine's Day ever!
Insight: I am sorry that he picked Valentine's Day to break it off with you. I believe that you deserve better than this. I know that may be hard to believe right now, but it is true.
He should not have allowed you to believe he really liked you when he had no idea what he really felt. I know this may seem like an old fashioned thing to say, however if you were friends with someone before you went out with them, both of you would know how you really felt before you started going out. I'm not talking about being friends for a week, I am talking about a substantial amount of time.
Another thing I would recommend is to make a list of characteristics (I'm not referring to looks but inner qualities), that describe the type of person you want to be with and do not settle for anything less.
Lastly, I would recommend being upfront about your expectations from the relationship right off the bat. For instance, if you did not want to have sex until you were married, you should tell them right away.
I strive to help others by being a safe place for others to ask questions and pose issues they face.