Insight: Grief is difficult to navigate. First and foremost, allow yourself the space to grieve. Even if it is a few minutes each day. If you hold these deep emotions in it only causes more pain in the long run. Emotions that are bottled up only fester, it is important to express these emotions.
Secondly, everyone grieves differently. Something that may help someone else cope may not help you at all. One thing I have found helpful when dealing with my own grief is journaling. It enables me to get out my emotions in a safe environment. Best thing would be to try a few things and see what works for you. Some people write letters to the lost loved one, some people talk to them verbally when they are alone as if they are there.
Lastly, rely on God's strength to pull you through, and do not be scared to rely on other people you trust. Another resource is a grief group, everyone in the group is experiencing loss and you may find comfort and tools from others in the group. If you need to vent or just need some comfort these are the best places to go.
Insight: It must feel like you are carrying a ton of bricks on your shoulders. I have a few ideas on how you could start dealing with these things and start to put them behind you. First of all, find someone you trust and share what has happened. Sometimes even being able to talk about it helps lighten the load. Secondly, if you really have trust issues and there is no one you feel like you can trust, try writing in a journal. Journalling is a great way to actually talk about what is going on and get out some of your emotions. Thirdly, you could give them over to God.
When I was in Bible College my family was going through a lot. I felt overwhelmed by all of the problems and I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, literally. My best friend noticed what I was going through and he offered to carry my burdens for one day so I could take a break. I laughed when he first mentioned it, but he was being serious. He said not only would he carry my burden for that day but he would pray for all that was weighing me down. I agreed to this and the next day, first thing in the morning we sat down together and I told him in detail every single issue there was, and after I was done he said, "OK, now they are mine. You are not allowed to worry or think about them at all today." The weird thing was I really did feel lighter and he really did feel the weight of the burden. By that night, he was very happy not to be carrying it around with him anymore. God taught me something very important through my friend. He taught me that if my friend was able to handle it for one day how much more could God the creator of the entire universe be able to carry my burdens for me if I let him.
I strive to help others by being a safe place for others to ask questions and pose issues they face.