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Insight: Forgiveness can be difficult. When we do not feel worthy of forgiveness it becomes difficult for us to receive it. God has offered us forgiveness of all our sin. God knows everything we have done or will do and Jesus sacrifice covered it all. God sees you as worthy. Once you believe that God sees you as worthy it becomes easier for you to believe that for yourself as well.
Forgiveness is about loving yourself. If you do not love yourself you will struggle with this a lot. Forgiveness frees you from being held captive by the pain, however if you feel unworthy or you do not love yourself you will determine that you deserve to live with the pain. Another reason for unforgiveness, is punishing the other party. In all reality whether or not you forgive the other person very little will change for them. In most cases the people we are holding unforgiveness towards do not even realize the pain they have caused us and have no idea that we have been holding these actions and the pain caused by such actions in our hearts. The place to start is when the negative thoughts come and tell you that you are not worthy of forgiveness, tell them to stop, take a few deep breaths to focus your mind and think of three positive things about yourself. Another thing that is helpful is to think of a statement of affirmation that you can say to yourself at these times. It could be something as simple as I am worthy! Above all remember forgiveness is a journey. It takes time to get there, so be kind to yourself as you go. Our worst enemy can be ourselves when we are dealing with things. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else ever could be.
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There are times when what we do will go unnoticed and that is ok. God sees everything you do and whatever we are not awarded for here we will be awarded for in heaven.
The question I have for you is why is this person's approval so important to you? Clearly you need to do your job well to keep it, however if you are doing your job well then does it matter if this person praises you for it? If the only motivation for doing your job well is to get praise from your boss, then I think you have the wrong motivation. To succeed in being your best and giving your best in a job is to find something where the work itself is the reward. I love this saying and I have no idea who came up with it but it is so true, "Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life." If you are more focused on the boss' opinion of your work than the work itself it may be time to look for another job, one that you love so that you can give your best and feel rewarded each day just by being there. Insight: Friendship can be tricky. The best way to know what another person is thinking is to ask them. When we try to mind read you will find that many times you are not even close to knowing what they are thinking.
The next thing is you need to evaluate how important this friendship is to you and if it is worth it to you to make all of this extra effort. If it is an important friendship to you then let go of your concerns and pursue it. If this friendship is not all that deep and you don't feel it is that important, be free in letting it go. Lastly, that other person may have a lot of friends that they are trying to maintain. The more friendships you have the less time you have for all of them. The other person may be busy as well and may have more time once things start to slow down a bit. Bottom line: If this person means a lot to you, then I would recommend that you talk to them and let them know what you are feeling and let them know that they are important to you and don't give up on them. I have several friends that are extremely busy and if they know that they are important to you, they will make time for you. Insight: No one should deal with their problems alone. Sometimes people may not understand what you are going through, but that doesn't mean they can't be there to listen to you and support you. Sometimes all we need is to have one person sincerely listen to what we are going through in life in order to cope. If you cannot find someone like this amongst your friends or family, seek out a counselor who will. We all need someone to listen.
Insight: We all express and receive love in different ways. Giving gifts is one of them, however it could be that those friends who seem to have a problem with you giving gifts to them, may not give and receive love that way. Watch how they express their appreciation for you and it will give you a clue of what to do for them when you want to show them that you appreciate them.
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Connie BlackwoodI strive to help others by being a safe place for others to ask questions and pose issues they face. Archives
January 2021
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