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Insight: I can tell you right now, you might not like my answer to this. Life is not fair and there is no way for you to ensure that you will be treated fairly in every situation. However, there are ways that might help people treat you better. First of all, always treat everyone else fairly and with respect. You will be amazed at how things may change once you change the way you treat others. Also, it could help to calmly discuss how you feel with the person you believe is treating you unfairly and you can hear their side of the story. It may give you a different perspective on the situation.
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Insight: When you find that you are getting stressed out it might be time to go for a walk and become one with nature. I find that spending time in nature brings relaxation, thus bringing down my stress level. It is amazing how connected you feel to God when in His Creation. This connection allows His peace to wash over you.
Secondly, if you find that you are withdrawing from others and you don't wish to continue withdrawing, try taking a walk with someone outdoors. This not only enables you to connect to God, but also enables you to connect with the person you are walking with. If neither of these seem like they are practical when you are feeling stressed, then breathing deeply and slowly can help your body to calm, which also affects your mind and emotions, calming them as well. Finding ways of taking your mind off the things that are stressing you out is key. If it is your relationships with people that is stressing you out, then it may be important to take some time to figure out what exactly you are concerned about. Dealing with these concerns will then open the door for you to be around these people without the stress. If you are struggling to figure what the trigger is, then find a counselor to help you. No man is an island, therefore do not let the stress win. Insight: It would depend on whether it was an insult or a concern. If it was an insult, then you may have to evaluate the relationship you have with this person and see if it is worth keeping this person in your life.
If it was a comment out of concern for you; then the first thing I would recommend is, pray through what that person is saying and see what God has to say on the topic. God may or may not confirm this person's concerns. If there really is an issue in that area you could try bringing it up with your spouse. If your spouse does not respond favorably the best thing to do is pray for your spouse in this area. Secondly, you may want to share with that person, that you understand this issue concerns them, however it undermines your relationship every time they talk negatively about your spouse. Ask them to take their concerns to God in prayer instead of constantly bringing it up to you. That person could also confront your spouse directly, if this is an issue that they are really concerned about. Lastly, remember to forgive this person, I am sure they mean well and are just trying to look out for you. Insight: Since people cannot read your mind, you need to have patience. When you find you are having difficulty communicating try to use more words and less body language and see if that doesn't help. Words can clarify thoughts the way that actions just can't.
Also, you could try writing down what you want to say, this may make it easier for you to share your thoughts. Either way the key is to practice. The more you try to share your thoughts, the easier it becomes and the easier the words will come. If at first there are miscommunications, it will give you the opportunity to explain again. Additionally let others know that you are struggling to get your thoughts out properly and ask them to repeat back what they heard so that you can clarify and correct. Insight: Learning to change your reactions takes practice. It sounds like you are struggling with self control. The best way to work on self control is to start small. Work on self control over small things. For example, if you are trying to control road rage, try driving to work only saying positive things all the way. Once you can do this without focusing on it, move to a new area of your life that you need to increase your self control. Ask God for help in this area, God created us and He will be able to help you build this characteristic into your life.
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Connie BlackwoodI strive to help others by being a safe place for others to ask questions and pose issues they face. Archives
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