Issue: As a Christian I feel like I always have to have my act together and never have any problems, but when I hide my problems from others they know I am not being "real" with them. How can I be "real" and still be a Christian?
Insight: This is a question that plagues many Christians so do not feel alone in this. We as Christians often get this preconceived notion that we need to be perfect. God actually calls us to be holy (1 Peter 1:15-16; Leviticus 11:44-45) which doesn't mean perfect, it means set apart. God wants us to live lives that are different than those around us. He knows we are prone to sin. He knows what we are capable of. I believe that it is us who expect perfection from others.
I was at a retreat and the speaker said that God is never disappointed in us. In order for someone to be disappointed would mean that they had an expectation that we could not meet. God has no expectations of us, because he already knows every thought that we are going to think and every decision we are going to make. God, has no expectations, he just knows the outcome. What if we were to be more like God in this matter. Even though we do not know the future, what if we just stopped expecting things from people.
In the last week, God has shown me that I have a problem with expecting too much from others. The result is that I am disappointed in myself and them, and they feel bad for not meeting my high expectations. This week I tried something new. I trusted God and threw my expectations out the window. I had an amazing week. People did things that were so far beyond what I ever would have expected them to do, because they were free to be all that they could be without the thought of possibly disappointing me weighing them down. It also freed me in another way, when things did not go well, I did not have to deal with disappointment as well as the situation. I was able to keep a level head and coasted through until the situation was ironed out. I also found that when people did things that were unusual, I just trusted that God was in control of everything and the end result was everything worked out well.
I believe that if we trust God, and allow Him to be in control of every single aspect of our lives (not easy), then we are free from expecting others to fulfill what we should be trusting God for. God will make sure every need we have is met, the question is do we trust Him enough to believe He will do it? Do we trust Him enough to give control over to Him?
Back to the issue, do not try to be someone you are not. Be all that God has created you to be. Don't try to be perfect, strive to be authentic. Christianity is not about being perfect; it is about believing in God and trusting Him with our lives. Instead of focusing on what others think about you, pray and ask God what He thinks about you. He may tell you through His still small voice, He may lead you to Scripture that reveals it to you, or He may just send another Christian to share with you God's heart on that matter. God always answers, just not always in the way we expect Him to.
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I strive to help others by being a safe place for others to ask questions and pose issues they face.